Relationships - some of the most satisfying yet difficult things a girl can have! We have all had good, bad, and tough bonds with someone at one point in our lives. And each experience teaches us something, particularly the ones that don't work out. But when a relationship fails, it's always easier to blame an outsider or even your unworthy and weak-willed partner.
However, the ugly truth is that most of the times, things don't work out with someone because of us. In fact, you might be the one who is probably doing some things that ruin the bond you have with your soulmate. But don't panic! We have gathered them all for you, so check this list out to discover them!
10. LACK OF TRUST
Alright, girls! We know it's extremely hard to believe in your soulmate blindly, but that is the foundation of your relationship. It is said that without trust, there's nothing left to be with someone. Therefore, if you keep on interrogating your partner regarding his whereabouts during the weekend like an FBI agent, things will slowly go down from there.
Don't be too naive either; it should be a balance between trusting and defending your romantic bond when it's truly necessary (like when you see someone else flirting with your partner. If so, you should definitely go ahead and protect what's yours!).
9. TOO MUCH CONTROL
Girls often feel they're in a parent-child relationship instead of a romantic one. When that happens, they usually tend to overprotect, care, and overbear their significant others. But you always have to remember he or she is your partner and not your baby.
However, you can still support and care for your better half without acting like a mother. Always remember that both parties in a relationship need to have some personal space, so don't try to overstep the healthy boundaries that are necessary when having a bond.
8. WRONG BENCHMARKING
We totally get it; you may have had a wonderful ex that had a charming personality and whom you were on cloud nine. However, don't forget that person is in the past for a reason. So, if you keep comparing your current partner with your former sweetheart, you might end up with one more on the record.
It's merely an insult for your beau if you do that. "We used to go to this place; X used to be like this; I remember when X and I did this..." If you behave like this, perhaps you have to go over your true feelings and see if you're ready for a new relationship.
7. WRONG BENCHMARKING, PART II
Okay, maybe you're not comparing your companion with a former one, but you may be benchmarking your relationship with others. And this is quite easy to do when you check up on your social networks. Stay away from Facebook because that's where your friends continuously talk about what they do or not with their partners.
Please, don't match up your relationship with others! Once more, this is unfair and harmful to the romantic affinity you're trying to build with someone. Firstly, remember that people post all the positive things on the media, but there's usually more than meets the eye. Secondly, just try to enjoy the time you have with your beau and always work to make your own bond better and stronger (without considering anyone else's).
6. OWN INSECURITIES
We all have them, but if you let your insecurities about your body, your abilities, and any other personal stuff control your judgment and your relationship, things won't work out. Self-doubts prevent us from giving everything we have to offer because we're continually looking for approval. So try to avoid them!
5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
This aspect is very closely connected to the previous point. Why? Because if you don't express yourself openly, it's a piece of cake to draw conclusions by assuming things instead of asking and talking them over. Conjectures in a relationship are very harmful because most of the times they do not match reality. Careful with that!
4. BOTTLING UP
Communication is another crucial aspect to have a successful relationship. First, you can never believe your partner knows you so well that he or she can read your mind. It's better to open up and say everything you think and feel respectfully and honestly.
Secondly, don't be afraid of having an open conversation as a way of working things out. Some girls prefer to bottle up because of the fear that talking a problem over might cause more conflict and disruption in the process. Keep the peace, but never leave out unresolved issues that could be quickly fixed by speaking up.
3. MAKING A FUSS
If you're a professional complainer, you'd better quit it! Nobody wants to have a relationship with someone who grumbles about everything, insults, or mocks you. Remember, no one is perfect and not all situations in life can be ideal. Hence, being overcritical, making fun, and judging every move of your partner will become grating sooner or later.
Of course, this doesn't mean that you cannot make constructive suggestions, but there's a fine line between helpful and respectful advice and having the negative attitude of questioning and making a fuss about everything. Believe us; you're partner won't put up with that for long!
2. CHANGING YOUR PARTNER
It is also common to see women slowly trying to adjust their significant others so that they fit their stereotype of the "perfect one." And sadly, we all have romantic patterns. What we are about to claim might be a bit shocking, but it is said that the truth hurts.
Here it goes: if you can't accept and love your partner the way he or she is; with strengths, flaws, weird habits, and talents, perhaps you're not right for each other. Of course, there is no doubt that people do evolve over time, mainly when being in a relationship.
But this growth should come from an inner desire of improving, and not because someone is forcing them into it. Being too pushy with "well-meaning" suggestions about their appearance, wishes, likes, and much more would only make your companion run away from you and find some who appreciates him or her indeed.
1. NO RECOGNITION
Sadly, if any of the points above are familiar to you, there's every likelihood this one will ring the bell as well in your relationship. The truth is that females who criticize too much or don't trust their partners (just to mention a few) also fail at appreciating all the efforts he or she puts into your happiness.
You have to feel grateful for those dates, gifts, gestures, and actions that show his or her love, even if they don't fit your vision. Keep in mind that efforts look different in the eyes of the rest of the world, but this doesn't mean your better half is not trying hard.
If you found yourself guilty of any of these actions, don't fall apart! Fortunately, identifying a problem is actually the first step to come up with a solution. You still have time to fix things with your partner and grow your relationship stronger than ever. Share this article with your friends who also need a good piece of advice. Till next time!
Source: Your Tango