9 Things About Relationships That Mean A Couple Needs Therapy, The Sooner - The Better
Going to therapy is still viewed as something negative, but nothing could be better for any person than maintaining their emotional health, especially when it comes to relationships. A professional could help struggling couples become great partners and strengthen their bonds.
The doctor could also give you perspective on your significant other’s opinions and save your marriage. However, not many people would take the time or notice that they truly need help. Luckily, there are several signs that mean it is time for a session with a professional. Let’s learn more.
9. NOT CONSIDERING EACH OTHER
Sometimes, all kinds of opportunities come in life, and you need to think about each other when an important, life-altering decision arrives. If for some reason, you are not even thinking about your partner when you consider taking a new job or even eating out, there is a huge problem.
According to Kimberley Hershenson, a relationship therapist from New York, “If you’re intentionally — or even subconsciously — not wanting your partner to participate in your plans, it may be time for you to see a counselor.”
8. IF ONE PERSON THINKS THAT ALL THE ISSUES IN A RELATIONSHIP ARE THE OTHER’S FAULT
This can also be called contempt, another form of hostility, and it is one of the most damaging things for any relationship. You have no business being with someone you actively despise. Not everything is that other person’s fault.
According to licensed mental health counselor Kerry Lusignan, “Covert contempt is the most damaging to a relationship. It comes across in both verbal and nonverbal ways and can be very destructive.” Watch out for this one!
7. YOU CANNOT GET OVER THE SAME ARGUMENTS
If you constantly argue over the same issues all the time, then it might be time for a therapy session. Family therapist Julia Colangelo says, “This is the best part about having a second set of eyes looking in at your relationship.”
“Research shows that unless there is some level of professional or spiritual intervention that leads to significant change, those arguments, clashes, and mannerisms that negatively impact your marriage will only further deteriorate your marriage.”
6. IF YOU ARE ALREADY CONSIDERING PROFESSIONAL HELP
Even just thinking you need help can also be a sign that both of you need that. Sometimes, it is better to admit your problems than trying to sweep them under a rug. Not everyone can handle relationships well, and they need the tools to do properly.
“We all learn, just as we learned how to sit during class and raise our hands,” Colangelo says. “Think of a couples therapist as a teacher, helping to teach you both skills to communicate, compromise, disagree kindly and effectively, and build a better relationship.”
5. DIVORCE COULD BE IN THE AIR
If either partner considers divorce, it is absolutely time to find help. Divorce should never be an option during a relationship. It should always be the last possible resort, but since it is so normal these days, some people think is the best alternative.
David Woodsfellow, a psychologist from the Woodsfellow Institute for Couples, says, “You know things are serious. Couples therapy can help you understand what each of you needs to change if you hope to stay together.”
4. EITHER PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP PREFERS BEING WITH THE CHILDREN
Kids are an essential part of life, and most people get married to start a family. While it is alright to love them fiercely and pay attention to them constantly, it is not okay to always focus on them and forget about your partner. Marriage and family therapist Dr. David Simonsen says, “It creates disunity in the home. Your partner has to make up for the favoritism which in turn ends up hurting the other kids in the home.”
3. IF YOU STILL THINK ABOUT YOUR EX-PARTNER OFTEN
Of course, everyone has a past. You have to kiss several frogs before finding your prince. However, there are some people that never get over their past relationships. They might even think that they have settled with their current partners because they had no choice.
This is like cancer for any relationship. It will fester and destroy everything. Simonsen explained, “If you are holding on emotionally to a past relationship, it means you’re leaving emotional space for someone other than your current partner.”
2. ONE OF YOU IS NOT EXCITED ABOUT BEING WITH THE OTHER
Relationships do not exist to make your life harder or boring. Some people might be disappointed with their significant other and wish for something better. This is an awful truth that not many discuss. It can happen, but therapy could be the key to saving the relationship.
According to Bina Bird, a marriage and family therapist in Haslet, Texas, “You just have a feeling that your relationship is not what you want it to be or hoped it would be. Therapy can help any time things start to not feel right, whether due to increased conflict, decreased friendship, or outside stressors such as adjusting to a new baby or becoming a blended family.”
1. IF YOU DREAD GOING BACK HOME TO YOUR PARTNER
A home should be a haven for everyone. It is the place you rest and refresh for the next day. However, if you do not like the idea of going back home, there is a real problem. Therapist Amy McManus asks several questions about it. “Does your heart sink when you see her car in the driveway? Are you anxious or frustrated when you hear the door open, signifying that your partner is home? If your first reaction upon reuniting with your partner is a disappointment, you would definitely benefit from couples therapy.”
It is a hard subject, but honesty is the only way to save a relationship. Therapists can be a huge help. Let us know what you think about seeking professional help. If you liked this article, share it with your friends who could use some real advice. See you next time!
Source: Your Tango