The Duggars are no ordinary family when compared to other American families. Among the many values and traditions that govern their large family, the most prominent is the dating rules they have put in place for their children. One of which is the need for a chaperone during their dates. We have a detailed account of all their dating rules, and the reason they are particular about having a chaperone during their dates.
THE DUGGARS DON'T DATE, THEY COURT
One of the foremost rules of the Duggars when it comes to relationships is that they do not condone dating. They believe that there is a difference that makes courtship a better approach to marriage than dating. Courtship, which they regard as ‘dating with a purpose’ is one way they bond with their partners before marriage. While speaking to TODAY, the father of the home, Jim Bob Duggar said:
“Courtship is really waiting for the one God has for you and praying through the whole process. It’s really examining the person and considering, ‘Would this be the guy I want to be the father of my kids?’”
NO! YOU CAN NOT EXCHANGE TEXTS ALONE
While Ben was courting Jessa, he lived about four hours away from the Duggars, so he asked for permission if he could text her. The Duggars agreed only on one condition: Jim and Michelle should be involved and be allowed to read their texts. Considering this, they were all group texting for months. The father of 19, who disclosed that the couple exchanged texts on scriptures, parenting, and their life together as husband and wife in the future said:
“It’s neat to see their conversations.”
Although, both Jim and Michelle explained that they rarely intrude the couple’s conversation, the father of the house confessed to a time when he had to. He described a text where Jessa asked Ben to call her on the phone and wrote:
“Give me a ring when you get time.” Right at that point, Jim chipped in: “No rings yet.” (He said he added a smiley face too)."
However, for the sake of a little privacy, the couple was allowed to talk on the phone alone for an hour each night.
PHYSICAL INTIMACY? NO CHANCE!
While this may seem outrageous to the average person, the Duggars have strict physical boundaries that they strongly abide by. It is known that the Duggars’ daughters and their sweethearts create their limits with physical intimacy and share them with the family, so as to be held accountable. In Jessa and Ben’s case, the couple opted only to give each other hugs when they are greeting or saying goodbye, or posing for a picture. Also, they did not subscribe to kissing before marriage and waited to hold hands until their engagement. Michelle commented:
“We believe it’s best for them to save the physical part for marriage. That way there are no regrets.”
WANT TO COURT A DUGGAR? YOU HAVE TO CONTACT DADDY FIRST
In the book ‘Growing Up Duggar: It’s All About Relationships,’ which the four oldest Duggar daughters – Janna, Jill, Jessa, and Jinger wrote, they revealed that before they consider a courtship with anyone, they report to their dad first. Their mum Michelle said:
“The girls have always said they would send any guy who was interested in them to Dad. That’s a good thing – that is such good protection for them.”
Jim disclosed that he finds letters, calls, and emails each week from guys who are interested in his daughters. This might seem like a colossal task for both Michelle and Jim, but they are excited about being part of their kid's choice for marriage.
“A parent that loves and cares for their children, they want the best relationship for their child. It’s fun to be involved in the whole process in choosing it.”
CHAPERONES ARE A MUST AND BROTHERS KNOW BEST!
The Duggars’ relationships are always carefully monitored, so much that the lovers are not allowed to spend time alone together. The Duggars disclosed that their daughters are committed to always having a chaperone with them.
“Having that accountability really keeps things from going in the wrong direction. Before you get emotionally attached, you want to know who they are deep inside. That’s easier when you have more eyes looking out for you. There are a lot of things you can learn from not pairing off alone.”
For Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald, all of the Duggar males have been chaperones to them; either it's a meet-up at a coffee shop or dinner at a restaurant, they are never alone. Jim and Michelle noted that there is something unique about the way brothers can easily rate a potential suitor.
“The brothers can see how they treat mom and dad or see whether they show the sisters respect.”
CHAPERONES HELP TO KEEP THINGS IN CHECK
Contrary to what many think, requiring chaperones is not because Jim and Michelle don’t trust their daughters in making the right decisions while on dates. Instead, they believe that with another person around, the couple can be accountable to someone other than themselves. This, in turn, makes things easier. Michelle mentioned:
“There are a lot of things you can learn from not pairing off alone...Before you get emotionally attached, you want to know who they are deep inside. That’s easier when you have more eyes looking out for you.”
Read More: Fans Suspect Jill Duggar's Husband, Derick Dillard, Is No Longer Welcome in the Duggar Family Home
HOW WELL DO THE DUGGARS LOVE CHAPERONING EACH OTHER?
Have you ever had to chaperone two lovers before? Well, we know the Duggars chaperone each other, but how much do they enjoy it? In Touch Weekly reminded us of the hilarious things the Duggar kids have said regarding this. Jill said:
“You have to have a lot of patience to just sit there and listen to ‘I love you, I love you.’”
However, Jinger sarcastically commented that chaperoning “was great” while on camera when she was watching over one of her sister’s courtships.
These dating rules and the need to have a chaperone on the ground during courtship might sound archaic and ridiculous to many Americans, but the Duggars seem very committed to them. Now, we are wondering if they'll continue to keep this courtship ritual as the family expands. Do you find the need for a chaperone unnecessary? What do you think about the other dating rules? Let us know in the comments. Share this article with friends who know a thing or two about the Duggars.